Christmas Turkey
Tom Cridland · One Single a Week · 1 September 2019
Drank all the eggnog Made me feel squiffy Overindulged till I felt dizzy All the pleasure went straight to my head Woke up hours later Tucked up in bed Thought to myself “How did I get here?” My memory is murky She said, “You’re a fool But I love you You’re my Christmas turkey”
Ate all the mince pies Filled up my belly Drank so much beer It made my breath smelly Wrapping the presents late by the tree My love came down to kiss me She caught a whiff and cried, “You stink Your breath is rather quirky If you don’t sober up quick You’ll be left with cold turkey”
Christmas turkey, you got me feeling so perky You’re my lovely Christmas turkey You got me feeling so perky tonight
My new Christmas trousers started getting tight in a matter of hours My Yuletide greed could not be stopped All of a sudden my trouser button popped I’ll give you some advice for free Don’t stuff yourself like a Christmas turkey